Holding On & Looking Forward

Thursday, November 09, 2017

I've always believed that anticipation is half the fun. It's nice to have something exciting to look forward to, but I also believe there is a line between looking forward and embracing the moment. Too often I let that line grow hazy and I stop appreciating what's right in front of me.

Since we moved into our house in early spring, I've been looking forward to this fall. With no real experience to base it on, I assumed we would have this remodel wrapped up and done with by the fall. I pictured cozy fires in the fireplace, a shiny new kitchen to bake fall treats in, a sofa with a fur throw, and a soft rug under my feet. It couldn't get more picture perfect.

Fall is well underway and here's where we're at: no drywall, exposed insulation, tables filled with tools, holes in the hardwoods, holes in the ceiling, holes in the walls, dust upon dust, and no kitchen counters in sight (let alone an oven to bake fall treats in). Since we're creating an open floor plan, the dining and living areas are also being remodeled along with the kitchen, basically tripling the mess. On top of that, Mark injured his back pretty badly so there's also lots of ice packs and Advil and chiropractor visits. It feels like we're within reach of the finish line but still 1,000 miles away and I'd be lying if I said it doesn't get overwhelming sometimes. I'm looking forward (oh, believe me, I'm looking forward), but wishing too hard for that picture perfect image in my mind seems to turn my outlook into something that resembles whining. And no one likes a whiner.

I'm doing my best to embrace the moment. Here's what that looks like: focusing on what I can actually control, like making our bed up in the morning, spending time on my yoga mat, taking a walk around the neighborhood, setting a warm healthy meal on the table at night, organizing and making lists, calling plumbers and electricians, scheduling appointments and collecting contractor quotes, giving our master bathroom a mini-makeover, working on the yard, re-arranging our kitchen layout, shopping for pendant lights, using the headspace app, diffusing lavender before bed, rearranging my office. There are lots of little things that are getting done and progress, however small, is still progress. It's not the fall I was imagining, but it's the fall that I've got so I'll embrace it anyway.

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